Leaving the City

As you can see in the chart above, over the past year or so, my thoughts on New York have oscillated daily between “BURN EVERYTHING” and “I wish I could tongue-kiss this entire city!! <3 <3 <3”

Every single day, I’ve seen at least one melt-your-heart precious dog, one person who’s too beautiful to look at, one moment so tragic/stunning that it should be on film, and one pair of awesome, covet-worthy sneakers. I’ve eaten amazing burgers in parks filled with art; I’ve sipped $2 PBRs and watched famous and soon-to-be-famous comedians perform brand new shows in a theater under a grocery store; I’ve paid for insanely expensive vodka tonics at clubs where men wear ties and women wear stilettos but you can tell who the dealers are because they’re allowed to wear orange crocs and parachute pants (jealous!). I’ve been harassed in every way possible by taxi drivers, strangers on the subway, Upper East Side frat boys and unidentifiable loiterers. I’ve paid way too much for EVERYTHING, and I’ve gotten way too angry way too often at people I don’t even know. There were definitely operas, concerts, museums, gardens, outdoor movies and sidewalk cafes, but there were also manic fashion publicists, roaches, scary moments, failed attempts at 80s-chic drug use and crowds so claustrophobic I risked diving into oncoming traffic if it meant even one full breath of air that wasn’t just exhaled by someone 5 inches away from me.

So! Yeah, my feelings are clearly conflicting, and I haven’t even been here very long.

People who’ve been in New York their entire lives may be even less sure what they think of the place, but they do seem to get better and better at expressing themselves and less and less able to leave. Below are clips from Woody Allen’s Manhattan and Spike Lee’s 25th Hour (Mom- you may want to skip this second one. It’s not violent or anything but it’s way vulgar and angry). Once I get some distance between me and Manhattan, it’s hard to say whether I’ll forget what was so great/awful about it all or whether I’ll forever feel some magnetic force dragging me back. Only time will tell? Enjoy the clips!

Muppet Meditations: Something Better

This clip is from Muppet Treasure Island (amazing). Even if you’re not really into the muppets (WHO ARE YOU?) I think within the first 10 seconds you’ll realize this is totally worth your time:

Right?? Gorgeous. Thought provoking. I see it as a continuation of the “quitting” thought from yesterday. Jim is such a kindred spirit.

Bonus clip after the jump!

Dooooooo it

When I tell strangers about my upcoming plans, I’ve noticed that some of them assume I’m some spontaneous free spirit, like one of those nutty-but-wise female characters from movies like Forces of Nature or Sweet November. I totally understand, I mean it does sound cool in that “you’re wild and crazy” way. Quitting your job and moving to the opposite coast on a whim! Nutty! I wish I was that awesome, but the truth is this decision was totally not off-the-cuff. It seems like no one ever really quits anything completely off-the-cuff, right?

Or maybe I don’t know. People have a lot of different opinions on quitting: quitters are bad, quitters are brave, quitters are emotionally or physically lazy, quitters will die alone. Based on its recent article about my generation’s tepid relationship with employment, The New York Times seems to think that quitters are mostly just young and dumb. I would take offense, but I think twentysomethings have been getting accused of laziness and unrealistic expectations for several decades now.

My friend Mariko sent me a really great episode of This American Life about Quitting. It opens with an interview with Evan Harris, who started a zine (yay 90s!) with her friend Shelley Ross called Quitter Quarterly. Evan has a LOT to say about quitting (she filled a zine for two years and wrote two books), including an awesome outline of “The Anatomy of a Quit”:

1. The Quitter thinks about it.
2. The Quitter thinks about it some more.
3. The Quitter quits.
4. Post-quitting stuff.

I love the accurate vagueness of “post-quitting stuff.” And quitting anything totally does require at least two phases of “thinking about it.” For example, I’ve been talking about leaving New York since November 2006, and I’d been talking about leaving my job since… earlier than that.

It’s that transition to phase three that’s definitely the toughest. How do you know when you’re just fantasizing vs. when you really neeeeeed to make a change?

Seth Godin, a marketing/business guru of sorts who has a pretty popular blog, recently wrote a book called The Dip that aims to address this question. His basic argument is that any career/life situation at some point hits a weeding-out point, or a “dip,” where if you just stick with it, then when you come out on the other side you’ll have way fewer competitors and you’ll be happy and in great shape. Of course, that means you have to stick with it even when it sucks, but you should only do it if it sucks in the right way. He explains it pretty well in this interview with BusinessWeek:

When to Quit

I find him pretty annoying, and I have some major issues with his education reform suggestions, but I think he brings up a really great point that quitting something FORCES you to build something new. Maybe the panic of completely and permanently tearing something out of your life that you put work into and got used to can push your brain into brand new thought areas. Sounds pretty painful to me.

So finally: pondering a major change? Below are some handy internet guides that the internet is offering up to help you out:

Should I Quit My Job (For me, the consensus was: yes, I probably should. Check.)
The Relationship Assessment Test (They suggest a former relationship of mine might’ve had more of a chance if we had “improved how we connect, particularly our level of problem-solving.” Yeah… we decided to go for the quit, thanks.)
What’s Your Signature City (I got Seattle – SCORE.)

Big changes are great (mostly scary), but I realize I’m also a big believer in small-stakes quitting. For example, in college I quit recycling after deciding that I didn’t believe in it, and in New York I quit worrying about germs. I think maybe it’s not about destroying everything important in your life, but more just making conscious choices?

Seriously. Is this decaf?

The weather this past week gave me more than enough of an excuse to put off packing up my apartment. How can I buy boxes when there are cherry blossoms in bloom? How can I sell furniture online when there’s a farmers market at Grand Army Plaza?

Today, for the first time in seven consecutive days, the weather dropped below 55 degrees, and big, pouffy, sun-blocking clouds drifted into the sky. Meanwhile, the only things on TV (for those of us without cable) are golf tournaments and coverage of the papal visit. Uuuugh, ok everyone, I get it. I need to pack.

Instead of doing that, though, so far I’ve gone out for coffee twice, eaten a bagel, and watched a movie and three PBS cooking shows. Despite my two cups of coffee and a shocking lack of physical activity, as I get ready to actually really get to packing, I’m suddenly feeling very very sleepy. I think I may know why.

Exhausting, isn’t it? Aren’t you just exhausted?? Man. I am.

But we all know that moving sucks, even for the well-organized, non-disgusting of us. A sizeable chunk of the internet is dedicated solely to moving: movers’ websites, moving advice, moving blogs, moving products and supplies, etc. Check out Real Simple Magazine’s Moving Checklist! (Thanks mom for sending me this months ago! As always, I regret that I ignored you.) Check out About.com’s Top 12 Moving Tips! (Not one but TWO of these tips are related to “wardrobe boxes.” Who knew?) Also check out MovingHints.com, which describes itself as “a community-based, non-affiliated site devoted to answering basic questions about a painful necessity of life — moving.” Really? Moving? I feel like that sentence should end with a different word. “Debt” or “unplanned pregnancy” maybe. Or “death” would also work. The hints are helpful, though.

Anyhow, I’m out of excuses, and I already have boxes and tape, so I need to get my life together and actually start packing now. Right after I finish this blog post. And maybe get some Diet Mountain Dew. And finish watching Lydia’s Italy. And eat this orange I’ve been saving:

People who think I’m crazy: My neighbor

As I was moving boxes and furniture into my apartment a year ago, I noticed my landlady outside talking to a neighbor so I paused to say hello. He was wearing tan Carhartt pants and black sport sandals and had his saxophone case leaning against his leg. The conversation went something like this:

Landlady: Oh, hello! This is Nathan*. Nathan, this is my new tenant.

Me: Oh hi Nathan, so nice to meet you! I’m such a mess now with the moving, sorry, which side do you live on?

Nathan: [points to his house] Right there. Nice to meet you too.

Me: Oh! Great. [pause to wipe the dusty-sweaty mixture off my hands and scratch my eyebrow] So yeah! Wow, do you play the saxophone? That’s a saxophone, right… haha.

Nathan: Yes. Well welcome to the neighborhood! What do you do?

Me: I, um, I work in public relations actually, I-

Nathan: Can I ask you how old you are? Do you babysit?

Me: Um… I-

Nathan: Because you look about babysitting age- would you want to babysit for us?

Me: Oh! Well… oh! So you have kids?

Nathan: Fantastic, here, let me take your number and my wife will call you.

So, I do like working with kids, but I really don’t like babysitting. At all. I felt pretty awkward though, so when Nathan’s wife Shazzer* eventually called and invited me over to meet the kids, I figured it would at least be a good way to meet the neighbors. Right? What harm could there be in that!

Shaz and Nathan answered the door with matching crazy hair and equally-sporty sport sandals and cargo shorts. They smiled and welcomed me in, but upstairs I heard a small boy seemingly just running back and forth screaming, and as we walked into the livingroom, I felt the cold cold stink-eye from a girl in the kitchen who was using all of her 45 inches to wish me a violent death.

Great.

As Nathan sat by with laryngitis whispering threatening-sounding questions, Shaz asked about my experience working with kids and what days I was free, so I nervously emphasized what a very very busy life I lead and said that perhaps on some Sundays or on a very rare Wednesday I might be able to help out.

Needless to say, I didn’t handle the situation well, and months of dodging daily babysitting requests and making up excuses as to why I was busy left my relationship with the neighbors a little rocky. But- whatever! I’m not 16, I don’t know why they would expect an adult with a full-time job and a life of her own to be able to babysit. One of the reasons I don’t have kids is because I don’t want to babysit anything after a day of work. I know how that sounds, so relax.

Shaz and Nathan finally stopped calling and started just staring me down in the street. Fair enough.

This morning I ran into Shaz as I was carrying coffee back to my apartment.

Me: Oh hey! How are things, how’s the family?

Shaz: Great, great. Are you sick?

Me: No, no. I’m fine.

Shaz: Oh. So what are you doing home then? Did you… do you have work?

Me: Oh- no, I’m, actually I’m moving. To Seattle actually.

Shaz: Oh! [pause, smile] Why?

Me: I just, I have friends out there, so I thought I’d try it.

Shaz: So… Oh, wow. Well. That’s interesting. [stands at the foot of my stoop staring at me]

Me: Yep, I’m pretty excited, it’s beautiful out there. [Ed. note: I’ve never been.]

Shaz: Sure, sure. So why are you leaving again?

Me: I mean.. I’m just, you know, giving it a shot, so. It’s exciting though, huh?! Who knows how long I can stay away from New York, though, right?? HAHAHA. We’ll see. Have a great day!

So I’m pretty sure Shazzer thinks I lost my job, ran out of money and/or got dumped or something. Awesome! At least she’ll stop asking me to babysit if she thinks I’m mentally unstable or likely to steal her jewelry or hock her kids for meth money. Oh neighbors. If only I could’ve traded Nate and Shaz for songbirds Ralph Nader and Babs Walters: